


And This Time I'll Make You Stay

by TragicLove



Series: Stay [2]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: F/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicLove/pseuds/TragicLove
Summary: I felt him before I saw him, and I realize how ridiculously corny that sounds, but it’s the truth of the matter.





	And This Time I'll Make You Stay

**Author's Note:**

> I had promised some people that Zac and Sophia's story wasn't quite over yet at the end of Stay (I Missed You), and it took me a little longer than I originally planned, but I've finally finished this, so I wanted to get it posted before Camp Nano starts tomorrow and takes up all of my time. I hope anyone who has been waiting for this enjoys it. And honestly, now that I've written it...I'm almost sure that their story _still_ isn't over. There may be more coming soon.

_But it's such a shame_  
That we lost our way  
From the nights we danced  
The bands were playing  
I say I'm over you  
But I'm not sure that it's true 

_I am falling_  
And I'm too weak to fly  
Now my heart's wide open  
And you're the reason why  
I've been broken  
From the scars that I forgave  
Spent a long time running  
From the mess we made  
Oh, but I'd do it all again 

I felt him before I saw him, and I realize how ridiculously corny that sounds, but it’s the truth of the matter.

I was in London, browsing at an outdoor market, poking at fruits and vegetables, considering purchasing some and making an actual dinner for the first time since I’d arrived there almost a month ago. Eating out was proving to be too easy and fun to push me into any kind of domesticity during my time in England, but truth be told, my wallet wasn’t a huge fan and it was about time I started to learn how to feed myself again. 

After the year I’d spent in Haiti, I returned to Atlanta and got a job in journalism. The things I saw over there and what it took for us to literally rebuild the lives of the people who lived there had touched me and stuck with me so much that I’d sought out a way that I could bring awareness to people who, through all different means and for all different reasons, needed the same kind of help. After submitting my write ups on what I’d done, I got hired on by one of the biggest papers in Atlanta, who after a year started sending me all around the world to do what I found I did best: help people who couldn’t help themselves. Three years later I was approached by a publisher who’d stumbled upon and loved my articles in the paper and wanted me to write a book about my adventures in philanthropy. So, I did just that, finding myself in London two years to the day after I signed the book deal, for an extended vacation to celebrate the upcoming release of that book. I’d spent the last five years working as hard as I could and had decided (with a lot of pushing and prodding from Bailey) that I deserved a break.

I was minding my own business, closely inspecting a bouquet of broccoli, when I knew he was there.

I’ve always thought that memories have smells, and my memory of him was no exception. It was that undeniable scent of him that hit me first as the cool wind blew past me, my eyes moving from the broccoli in my hand to the stand of vegetables in front of me. I blew out and then took a deep breath, knowing with certainty what would be there if I looked up from the stand, and there he was.

I turned my eyes across the small stand and they landed on his, exactly what I remembered them looking like. His head was tilted a little bit to the side, a tiny smile playing on his lips, an apple in one hand, the other placed gently on the table top in front of him.

I tilted my head so it matched his, letting out a small laugh for some reason that I’m not sure of. He placed the apple down in the bin with the rest of the apples and dipped his head down so his hair fell into his face before turning and walking around the stall. He stopped in front of me, brushed his hair out of his face and smiled again.

“I always thought that when I ran into you again it would be in a Starbucks in Atlanta, not a farmers market in London.”

“Do they call them farmers markets here?” I asked, tilting my head again and smiling at him.

“You know,” he lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t know.”

We took each other in for a few seconds, he looked tired and a little over worked but drastically happier than the last time I’d seen him up close. The five years since we’d been apart had aged him, but in exactly the pleasant way I’d have predicted had someone asked. His hair was down and shorter than it had been then, the front falling into his face. I could tell he was taking stock of the changes in me, too, and then finally he smiled again and shook his head, closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me.

“It’s good to see you,” he said once he’d pulled back again, his arms falling down by his sides. He kicked at a pebble on the street and then looked at me. “What brings you to London?”

“A little vacation,” I shrugged. “I, um. Well, I’m about to have my first book published next month and I figured I should treat myself.”

“A book? Soph, that’s great!”

I felt my body tighten a little bit as his use of his old nickname for me. No one before or since him had ever called me that and for some reason hearing him say it was a bit of a shock to the system. I mentally shook it off and smiled, nodding my head.

“Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it. I spent some time in Haiti after…” I felt myself frown of my faces own volition and I trailed off, my eyes moving to the ground.

“After us?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah,” I nodded, still not looking back up at him. “I was part of a team helping them rebuild. After I came back I started writing for a paper in Atlanta…about what I’d seen and what we’d done. I’ve done some similar work other places and I was approached to write a bit of a memoir about it.”

“Wow,” Zac breathed, his hand landing on my elbow and squeezing just a bit. “That’s amazing, Soph. You’re amazing.”

“So,” I smiled, looking back up at him, wanting to change the subject. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, we have a show,” he shrugged. “Not nearly as incredible as you.”

“I should have known,” I smiled again. “Is it tonight?”

“Yeah. You should…if you wanted, you should come.”

It had been so long since I’d seen him play. After I’d left Tulsa I had made a concentrated effort to separate myself from any and all things that could break me or bring me back to the place I had found myself in. I had stopped keeping up with what he was doing, as far as I was concerned, in SophiaLand, Hanson wasn’t a thing that existed.

“Yeah,” I found myself saying before I could even think better of it. “That would be nice.”

“Yeah?” He echoed, his smile growing. 

“Sure, why not,” I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders. “It’s been a long time.”

“Have you eaten? I mean-” he laughed to himself. “Maybe that’s a weird question. Are you free? Can I take you to lunch?”

Saying no crossed my mind, but only for the briefest of moments. I knew I shouldn’t, and that it was likely just inviting heartache into my life, but the truth in that moment was that I _wanted_ to have lunch with him. It had been a long time since I’d let missing him consume me, but I did miss him, and having him in front of me felt good. It felt like something I wanted to continue to do in that moment, and I’d worry about the after later.

“Okay,” I smiled. “I haven’t eaten, actually. I was,” I waved the broccoli I was still holding between us and then placed it down in its bin. “Here to buy some stuff to cook.”

“There’s a nice place right down the street,” he held his arm out for me to loop mine through. I looked at the curve of his elbow for a couple of seconds, wondering if the simple act of linking our arms was enough to propel us back in time to a place I’m not sure either of us were eager to revist. I’d decided that it was safe, so I slipped my arm through his and let him lead the way. 

We’d made it most of the way through lunch, sustaining ourselves on small talk. He told me about the band and what was going on with them, the way they’d almost called it quits for the third or fourth time, before finally setlling on taking a year off before putting out a new album, leading them to the tour they were on now. He asked questions about my book, opening Amazon and preordering one then and there. It was the strangest mix of feeling like we hadn’t spent more than a day apart while also feeling like there was so much time spread out in between us that there wasn’t enough time to cover it all.

He’s insisted on paying the check and then walking me the few blocks to my hotel. We talked about how nice the weather was and how he was sure his brothers were wondering where the hell he’d gone off to for so long, and then we’d landed outside the door of the hotel, standing just far enough away from each other, neither of us really sure how we were supposed to part ways.

He ended the stand off first, leaning in and hugging me tightly and then letting me go. He smiled, looking down at the sidewalk.

“I just have to ask,” he said, shifting his eyes up to meet mine. “Are you…seeing anybody?”

I considered telling him that I was, but the necessity to lie wasn’t there. We were both adults, it had been a long time since everything we’d gone through together. He was Zac and I was Sophia and time and each of us and circumstance had taken enough from us, there was no reason to be untruthful.

“No,” I shrugged. “No time, really. Things have changed a lot for me since…” I trailed off, shrugging again. “How about you?”

“No,” he shook his head. “No one since…well. No.”

His phone started ringing then, shaking us both out of the awkward silence that had settled around us. He dug it out of his pocket and looked down at it.

“Shit,” he said. “It’s later than I thought. That’s Taylor. I, um. I have to run, but,” he stuck his hand into his back pocket and pulled something out of it, holding it out to me. “Take this. It’s mine but, I’ll tell the doorman. Just, go to the back door when you get there and flash that and they’ll let you in.”

I looked down at the laminated pass he’d handed me and then back up at him.

“Okay,” I nodded, shoving it in my purse. “Okay, yeah. I’ll, um. I’ll see you then.”

“Alright,” he flashed a smile at me and I felt that old familiar stirring in my chest that I hadn’t felt in longer than I liked to think about. “Bye, Soph.”

He turned and half jogged down the street, towards where exactly, I wasn’t sure. 

 

—

 

Showering and getting ready felt harder than it normally did, my stomach suddenly taken over by an angry, nervous pit. I hadn’t seen the band play in years, but the love I had for them was suddenly overwhelming to me. I knew that I wouldn’t make it through the night without shedding some tears, reliving some days of my past. The old me would have run from this, taken the pass and tossed it in the trash can underneath the bathroom sink, but the new me told me I needed this. I wanted it. To be surrounded by the music that had shaped most of my life, the music that had been such a huge part of me that it gave me, and took away from me, the only love I’d ever really known. I wanted to hear those notes and feel those old feelings, I wanted to get lost in it. Maybe go back in time for just a little while. 

I finished with about an hour to spare before I should head to the venue, so I grabbed my phone and laid back on the bed, hitting the first number in my speedial and pressing the phone to my ear.

“Finally!” Bailey’s voice floated into my ear and I smiled to myself. “I was about to send a wellness check to be sure you were alive, Jesus Christ, where have you _been_?”

“You know where I’ve been, and it’s only been two days since we’ve talked,” I laughed.

“Two days? Weird, it feels like a year. What’s going on? Have you found a beautiful, rich British man to make an honest woman out of you yet?”

“No,” I laughed again. “But, I did find someone.”

“Mysterious, continue.”

“I was at the farmers market and I ran into Zac,” I said it quickly, a bit afraid of her reaction and when she didn’t respond right away, I braced myself for…something, I wasn’t sure what. 

“How’s he looking?” She finally said. “Has he lost all his hair and maybe some teeth too? Please, tell me he’s aged poorly and maybe gained about fifty pounds.”

“No, still walking around looking like a dream come true,” I chuckled. “They’re playing a show here tonight…he invited me.”

“Well, are you going?” Bailey asked, then answered her own question. “You’re going.”

“Should I not? Tell me not to go,” I sighed. “I probably shouldn’t.”

“Actually, I think you should,” she said, and I took my phone off of my ear and looked at the screen, wondering if I’d called somebody else by accident. 

“You do?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I think it’ll be good. Maybe closure, maybe not. But, either way, it’ll be good.”

“Yeah,” I said, sitting up. “I think it will.”

“If you have sex with him, you better call me.”

I laughed loudly, shaking my head.

“While it’s happening?”

“No,” she laughed. “We’ve already done that, just…maybe a little while later.”

“Deal,” I laughed again. “But, that’s not going to happen.”

“Sure, famous last words,” I could hear her shifting from wherever she was sitting. “I have to go, but, seriously, just have fun tonight. I know you’ve missed him. It doesn’t have to be…you know, a big thing. Just enjoy yourself.”

“I will,” I smiled to myself, missing _her_ more than I cared to let myself realize. 

 

 

—

 

 

I stepped out of the cab, clutching the pass Zac had given to me in my hand. I had suddenly become nervous on the ride over, my stomach feeling a little bit like there was a tiny war going on inside of it. 

I stood on the sidewalk, looking back and forth at the crowd of fans that were gathered there, trying to figure out where exactly I was supposed to go, when the door of the bus that I had failed to even notice was parked next to me opened and Taylor stepped out, our eyes meeting. His widened in shock, and I can only imagine I looked a bit like a deer caught in the headlights, but then he smiled and I felt my shoudlers loosen up as he quickly walked past the fans who were now trying to get his attention and pulled me right into his arms.

“Holy shit, it’s good to see you,” he smiled when he pulled away. “What are you doing here?”

“I ran into your brother earlier today, he invited me,” I held up the pass and smiled, shrugging one shoulder. 

“Come on,” he said, placing his hand on my lower back and leading me through the crowd, waving and apologizing to them that he had to get inside. Once we were safely in the back door of the venue and dropped his hand from my back and walked a step in front of me. “What are you doing in London? What great timing.”

“Yeah,” I smiled when he looked back at me. “Just a little vacation.”

“If I know Zac, he’s eating,” Taylor grinned, leading me through a small hallway. He pushed open a plain door and looked back at me again, grinning. “Told you. I found something on my way in,” he announced to the room.

I stepped inside, realizing the only person there was Zac, a plate of food resting on his lap, xbox controller in his hands. He looked over at Taylor and I and a smile took over his face. He put the xbox controller down and moved the plate to the small coffee table his feet had been resting on and got up, walking over to us.

“You did come,” he smiled, hugging me. “It crossed my mind that you wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I laughed, hugging him back. “I’ve missed seeing you guys play.”

“Well, you’re in luck, cause we go on in ten,” Taylor smiled, grabbing a bag from the corner of the room. “I’m gonna find Ike, I’ll see you guys at the stage.”

“Your hair is different,” Zac said when Taylor left the room, shutting the door behind him.

“I cut it,” I nodded. “Easier to manage.”

“It looks good on you.”

We stood there for a minute and then he pulled me into him again, wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m sorry,” he said into my hair. “I just can’t believe you’re standing in front of me.”

“You spent most of the afternoon with me,” I laughed into his chest, taking in his smell. The same smell after all of these years.

“I still can’t believe it,” he said, letting me go but barely backing up. “I…never thought I was going to see you again.”

“Me either,” I said. “But, I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” he smiled. “I want to know everything that’s happened since I last saw you, tell me about-”

A knock at the door made him stop talking and we both turned towards it, Taylor poking his head in. “Found Ike, we gotta go now.”

“Later,” Zac looked at me. “After the show.”

“Later,” I nodded, a warmth spreading through me that I hadn’t known I was missing until then.

 

—

 

I followed the band up the few stairs to the stage and watched them huddle together before they broke apart, Zac turning to me and smiling.

“It’s been a while, you excited?”

“You have no idea,” I smiled up at him, reaching out and squeezing his wrist lightly. “You’ll be great. You’re always great.”

He leaned in and pressed his mouth to the corner of mine, as close as he could without our lips touching, and then smiled and turned and followed his brothers out onto the stage, the screams from the crowd pulling a smile out of me.

The first half of the show went by in a blur of mostly uncontrollable smiling from me, mixed in with a few tears here and there, but even those felt good. I hadn’t forgotten their sound or how much I loved their music, but I’d forgotten the specific rush that I’d always gotten from standing in a room and watching them do what they did best. The way my heart would swell to almost bursting when they played. Zac might have been the first and only person I’d ever been in love with, but I realized in that moment that his music, the music he made with his brothers, that was really my first true love. 

When Zac came off stage for Taylor to do his solo song, we stood arm to arm and watched, every part of me wanting to reach out and touch him. Hold his hand, wrap my arms around him. It had been so many years and I had spent so long thinking that I was finally and truly over him, but now that I had him next to me again, standing so close, it was obvious to me that time had allowed me to stop focusing on my love for him, to be able to get through the days and months and years without my heart breaking at the loss of him, but it had been there all along, surviving, dormant. 

Taylor finished and swapped places with Zac, standing between Isaac and myself. Zac was halfway through a song I’d never heard before when Taylor moved closer to me, leaning down so his mouth was by my ear.

“This song is about you…the two of you.”

I turned my head to look up at him and he nodded once, moving so he could talk in my ear again.

“When you left…he was a mess. It took us a long time to put him back together again. I’m sure it wasn’t any easier on you, and I really like you, and I’m really happy you’re here. But, he’s my brother, my best friend. If you’re going to leave again…you should just do it now.”

My mouth had gone dry, the urge to defend myself tampered by the way he wrapped me in his arms and hugged me tightly. He pulled away, his hands on my shoulders. Just as Zac stopped playing, the crowd roaring, he smiled and squeezed.

“I hope you stay.”

Taylor moved to the side when Zac came back, Isaac taking his place on the stage. I watched as Isaac picked up his guitar, wrapped his hand around the microphone, adjusted it. He said something to the crowd, but I couldn’t hear it, the buzzing in my ears growing louder and louder until I looked over at Zac. He was watching Isaac, a small smile on his face, and then I could hear again, Isaac’s voice floating around my head, a love song. 

I slipped my hand into Zac’s and smiled when he turned to look at me.

“Hey,” I said, squeezing his hand.

“Hey,” he smiled down at me, one eyebrow slightly higher on his forehead than the other. I motioned for him to come closer so he could hear me and he bent, putting his ear next to my mouth. 

“I loved your song,” I put my hand on his jaw, moving his face so he was looking at me. I smiled, and then before I could change my mind, I leaned in and kissed him.

Both of his arms went around me, pulling me tight to him, and he kissed me back. It was like five years of being apart and ten years of backs and forths and ups and down, love and losses before that were being atoned for. In a place far away from home, where there had never been any bad for us, there was no history, no pain, it was just us. Zac and Sophia, older and wiser and free of our ghosts.

Isaac finished his song and the crowd cheered, pulling us apart. Zac was smiling and shaking his head, his hands on my hips.

“London is my new favorite city,” he laughed, leaning down and kissing me quickly again before turning to head back out onto the stage, to the hundreds of other people in London who loved him. 

 

The show ended and I found myself sitting in the same room Taylor and I had found Zac in earlier, waiting for him to shower and change. I sent Bailey a quick text telling her things were going well and I’d fill her in the next day, a flurry of heart emojis coming back to me almost instantly. Isaac and Taylor had left already, wanting to take in some of the London nightlife since they had a handful of days off. 

Just as I was shutting my phone screen off, Zac walked out of the bathroom, fresh jeans and a t-shirt on, his hair leaving little drops of water on it. 

“You ready?” He smiled, picking up his backpack and walking towards me. I stood up, smiling when he took my hand. “You want to go get something to eat or-”

“Room service?” I grinned, laughing against his mouth when he leaned down and kissed me.

“My place or yours?”

 

—

 

“I never asked,” Zac settled down next to me on the bed, each of us leaning against a pile of pillows stacked up against the headboard. “How long are you in London?”

“Three more days, I’ve been here for almost a month.”

“A month, wow,” he said, putting a hand against his mouth to stifle a yawn. “So, you’re leaving…” he trailed off, his eyes closing briefly before he turned to look at me. “Friday, then? Us too.”

“Yeah,” he reached his arm out and slipped his hand beneath mine, intertwining our fingers.

“You’re tired,” I said quietly, rubbing my thumb over the skin of his hand.

“Very,” he laughed softly.

“Come on,” I smiled, moving down so I was laying on the bed, pulling him with me. He turned us so we were on our sides and wrapped his arms around me. He pressed his lips to my shoulder and then let out a contented sigh.

“Check out of your hotel tomorrow, stay here with me.”

I didn’t say anything at first, thinking up reasons why I wouldn’t - couldn’t - stay with him. It felt to me like my whole life had been a series of moments with Zac, in all of which I was waiting and waiting for the moment when one of us would finally stay, but it had never come. I could change that now. Five years gone, just blank pages in the story of us, and I knew that I wanted the ending to be rewritten. I held the pen and the ink in my hands, the only one who could write the ending now was me.

“Okay.”

“Really?” He smiled against my shoulder.

“Yeah,” I turned in his arms so I was facing him. “I want to be here…with you.”

“I’ve missed you,” he spoke quietly, his hand moving to the back of my head, his fingers curling into my hair. “And I’m sorry. I’ve been sorry, every day for the last five years.”

“No,” I smiled. “We’re not doing this. We’re here, somehow. In the present. I just want to think about now, what happens from here.”

“Do you believe in fate yet?” He grinned, quickly lifting an eyebrow before letting it fall again.

“No,” I laughed, leaning in and kissing him. “But I believe in this.”


End file.
